Taking a Break

 Hey, I know it's been a bit quiet here lately. Not for lack of weirdness, but more for lack of time.

Y'see, I got a girlfriend a while back and things have been getting pretty serious between us. Actually, she's pregnant and she wants to get married and do the whole family thing! Which is pretty wild, not gonna lie. I don't know how I got so lucky to have her.

Problem is, she thinks the blog is a bit... much. She and I got into a bit of a fight about it, because she thinks I spend too much time on things that "aren't real" and that it's all "conspiracy bullshit." Which we all know isn't true.

But I love her and I want her to be happy. So if she wants me to stop, that's what I'm gonna do. At least for a little while, at least until we can get everything figured out.

So stay weird, Capitol City. I'll see you all around sometime.

Voices in the Static

There's an old story about traveling just outside town late at night. Some people say that, if you find the right frequency on the radio, you come across a station playing old lullabies and simple tunes. It flickers in and out and often cuts off within minutes of finding it, devolving into static.

Innocent until Proven Xenohuman

I have a challenge for my readers: I want you to speak to your neighbors, coworkers, and friends about xenohumans in Capitol City. Just a question or two about what they think of xenohuman citizens and their secretive nature. I'll bet that most people would give an answer similar to the one I've received time and time again: Xenohumans are terrifying because there's no way to prevent them from hurting us. And, despite the best efforts of the Justice Patrol to show that not all xenohumans are criminals, there is still a vocal portion of the city that views xenohumans as a risk. They are capable of committing crimes with little repercussion, as police forces are near powerless to stop them and our only defense are individuals who are more than capable of doing as much harm as the people they fight, if they were inclined to do so.

But whether or not the Justice Patrol should have some sort of accountability system in place is an article for another day. Instead, today we're going to look at those few xenohuman criminals who have been defeated. And, more importantly, the fact that not a single one has gone to trial or even been imprisoned in any known government facility.

A Flash in the Pan or a New Hero in Town?

At 12:38pm, a women was dragged into an alleyway near the intersection of Fifth and Willow, held at knife point by her mugger. However, this attempt was stopped by a police officer, who was deposited in front of the criminal and was able to take him into custody.

Now, while the police actually stopping a crime isn't all that rare, what is unusual is the manner in which this officer arrived at the scene. The police officer had been standing at his car several hundred yards away, unaware of the crime happening just down the street. Then, in a flash, he found himself with gun drawn and witnessing an attempted robbery.

"I was in front of the shop by my car before it happened, so they moved me all away around the block corner to the alley in that time," the officer describes. He then goes on to describe the experience as "...kind of scary."

The officer's description of the sensation is not an unfamiliar one. The feeling of being dragged and moved before one is capable of reacting has been mentioned in reports by those who have been attacked by Bunny, Capitol City's infamous speedy villain. However, Bunny has never been recorded as acting to prevent crime or working to apprehend criminals in any way.

The question that remains then is who prevented this crime? And, if there is a new hero in town, are they fast enough to keep up with Bunny or will they be left in the dust? I suppose only time will tell.

Justice Patrol Tryouts

I know this is a little different from my usual content and stories, but this was something I just had to share! The Justice Patrol, Capitol City's premier crime fighting team, is holding auditions for new members, which is a new development to say the least. After the disappearance of one of their previous members under unknown circumstances, it looks like the Justice Patrol is looking to expand their ranks and bring in some new comrades in the crusade against evil.

Just in time as well. There's been a lot of villain activity lately and not just from Bunny and Bull, our resident baddies. There has been a major upswing in crime and new villains seem to be cropping up every day.  Between the dragon-man that made an appearance downtown, the guy with an axes at his side, a new duo featuring an evil Inspector Gadget and Elsa, and some strange rumors concerning a club uptown, there's certainly a need for heroes.

So please, if you're out there and you've got powers, it's time for you to make a difference.

Capitol City needs you.

The Creatures in the Sewer

Every city has its urban legends. Crocodiles, massive snakes, rats the size of small dogs, and a thousand and one other tales. However, we have the fortune of living in a city of strange occurences and humans with extraordinary powers. So when a report comes in of a snake people in the sewers, it's harder to laugh at than one might think.

Which is how I found myself in the sewers two days ago, hot on the trail of a supposed snake person after a concerned citizen reported seeing one stealing clothes off of a clothesline. And what I found blew my mind.

It was clear that something, or someone, has set up shop down in the sewers. Long drag marks, as wide as my torso, marred the algae and slime that lined the walls. Stones had been arranged into neat piles, marking a path through the labyrinthine tunnels. At the end of this path, an intersection where several drainage pipes met. Unfortunately, due to yet another sudden torrential downpour, I found myself forced to leave the sewers or risk being washed away in the runoff, but before I made my escape, I stumbled across several items of clothing, neatly folded and recently washed.

The Snake People are real. They are down there. And we can do nothing but wait until they make themselves known.

Changes to the Justice Patrol Lineup

In a recent altercation between the Justice Patrol and a group of bank robbers that have been dubbed "the Crayon Crew", one thing has become overwhelmingly clear. The Justice Patrol has a new member. Appearing in a white wolf mask and wielding a rather large knife, Wolf has already proven themselves to be a capable member of the team, though multiple eyewitness accounts have failed to provide evidence of any xenohuman qualities, which could mean this is the arrival of our first non-xenohuman hero in Capitol City.

This is a monumental occasion to say the least. The appearance of a person without powers in our city's crime fighting force is indicative of a rise in citizen interest in the protection of others. The city has seen an increased number of individuals getting involved in outreach and volunteer programs since the first appearance of the Justice Patrol. The presence of heroes provides hope to the people, who had previously felt unprotected by a police force that is largely incapable of defending against xenohuman threats.

It is worth noting, however, that Wolf is not the only change to the Justice Patrol roster. It should be noted that Shadow Fox has not been seen in several days and has yet to accompany the team since the attack on the First Bank of Capitol City. It is unclear if this is due to injury, disagreement in the group, or some other reason. However, we all sincerely hope Shadow Fox is well and will look forward to their return to the Justice Patrol.